Category Archives: Realms of Life

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Kombucha Guy Loves Kombucha

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It’s Saturday morning, and I am about to head down to our local farmers’ market to stand in a line and buy a product that my wife loves: Kombucha. We refill seven bottles each week. She has a one bottle per day habit.

I am starting to wonder what they put in this stuff that makes it so irresistible. Kombucha is an ancient beverage that tastes a little weird at first, but really grows on you. It contains an active culture called a SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast), which is probiotic.016

The guy that sells this stuff is known to us only as Kombucha Guy. I’m sure he has a real name, but we don’t want to know it. We prefer to refer to him as Kombucha Guy because this fella really loves kombucha. He embodies the practice of ABS – Always Be Selling. He can have a line of ten people waiting patiently to refill their bottles and yet he is still singing the praises of kombucha to every person who walks by his booth.

The thing I like about Kombucha Guy is that he really loves what he is doing. As far as I can tell, he is totally sold on kombucha as a product, and he really believes everyone should be drinking it.

It reminds me of one of my favorite poems. In Two Tramps in Mud Time, Robert Frost writes:

My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation

The idea of uniting your avocation (your love) and your vocation (your work) is the holy grail of career goals. If you are ever able to combine these together, do you ever really “work”?

I would love to hear from you if work and love are the same. What do you do? If your current work is not what you love, what do you think you would love to do?

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4 Reasons You Should Play

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© Roys | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Roys | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

I have a confession to make. As much as I believe what I am about to write,  I have trouble with it. From an early age I learned responsibility and felt the weight of it. I derive joy from getting things accomplished and being “successful.” The best way I know to take care of all these things is to work hard and to work well.

The problem is that I often forget to stop working and to just play. If you don’t believe me, ask my kids. In my previous post I suggested that writing and living out your Forward Story is compatible with having fun. But what is play? Why is it fun? Why is this important to us?

What we are interested in here is the action of play. Since verbs indicate action, what does the verb “play” suggest? From dictionary.com I see four definitions that fit the idea here. To play is:

  • to exercise or employ oneself in diversion, amusement, or recreation.
  • to do something in sport that is not to be taken seriously.
  • to amuse oneself; toy; trifle.
  • to take part or engage in a game.

Play does not have to be confined to physical activity like running, throwing, or jumping. It may include all of those, but it can also include doing things like playing a musical instrument, painting, sculpting, or even just reading a book or listening to music. These all fit “diversion, amusement, or recreation.”

It is valuable to play and to have fun. This is part of life. If you are always on your way to somewhere else, what is the point of life? Here are 4 reasons you should play.

1. To Relieve the Stress of Life. There was a time in my life that I was skeptical about stress. What I mean is that I wasn’t sure that it was real. Or, if was real I was annoyed by modern people complaining about stress given that life on the frontier a couple of hundred years ago must have been a lot more stressful. It seemed like a lot of whining to me. However, I was finally convinced of its reality by experiencing it in my own life.

What is stress? It is a condition where your brain responds to a situation by producing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to heighten your ability to respond effectively. I was on a business trip yesterday driving on a busy interstate highway. I signaled to change from the right lane to the center lane. After checking my mirrors I began to change lanes. As I was completing my lane change I heard an angry horn honking and looked in my rear-view mirror to see anther vehicle on my tail and the driver clearly annoyed with me. He had switched from the left lane to the center lane at a high rate of speed at about the same time I moved into that lane. This whole event jolted me out of my mindless driving into a danger mode. I felt the change in my body. My muscles were tensed and ready to respond. My heart-rate increased. I was in a heightened mental state. I began breathing faster. This stress response is referred to as “fight or flight.” We are wired to respond to dangerous situations via this stress response. If a tiger is chasing you, you have to act now. You have to either fight him or run away. The stress response can help keep you alive.

However, prolonged and chronic stress has been proven to have negative health consequences. You may experience stress over a period of time from your job, from losing your job, from taking care of a sick family member, or in a multitude of other ways. Engaging in play reduces and relieves that stress. By throwing a football, taking a walk, or even just listening to a great piece of music, we can reduce stress and chase those hormones back to the place where we can use them in the future.

Before I leave the subject of stress, I want to share a technique that I began using a couple of months ago to relieve stress and to put myself into a very calm state. It is so simple that you may not believe it, but I encourage you to try it. I do this every night now while in bed before I go to sleep. Here is the technique:

  • Breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds (or longer) into your belly, not your chest. You should actually be able to feel your belly inflating.
  • Hold the breath for one second.
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth. Your belly will deflate.
  • Repeat this 8 times.

2. To Connect With Your Body. A hundred years ago most people in America worked on a farm. The day began when the sun rose and included milking cows, gathering eggs, feeding livestock, and many other chores that required physical labor. The day pretty much ended when the sun set. Much of what happened between sunrise and sunset required physical exertion. Today many of us live in urban settings and do work that requires sitting, talking, typing, and meetings. The pinnacle of physical activity for some of us is the walk from our desk to the coffee pot.

© Arturdent | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Arturdent | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Most forms of play allow us to engage our bodies in a way that reduces stress and feels good to us. A long walk with my wife is great because not only do we get to talk and “debrief” about life, but we feel movement, use our balance, raise our heart-rates, and strengthen our muscles and bones. It is all good. Plus, it is just fun. Swinging a tennis racket is something I enjoy and that connects my mind with my body. Other activities I enjoy include disc golf and skiing. You have your own forms of play that allow you to connect your body and mind.

Again, not all play involves overt physical activity. Playing a board game with your friends or your kids has a positive effect on your life as well.

3. To Express Your Creativity and Artistry. Play, as I am defining it, includes creative endeavors like painting, playing music, writing, and many other disciplines. When we do these things we often derive pleasure and a sense of purpose about our lives. Those activities are ends in themselves. We do them because they are fun and are an expression of something deep inside of us, not because they advance our agenda or have a direct effect on our future. I believe that each of us has a creative side that longs for expression. If you have not found yours yet, I hope you will. Don’t be afraid to try some of these artistic endeavors to see what you enjoy and where you can find expression.

4. To Appreciate Beauty. We live in a world with some dark realities. All you have to do is watch your evening news to be convinced. In a world with so much negative input, it is important for us to also appreciate the beauty in life. As I have gotten older I have started appreciating nature a lot more. I have always loved natural beauty like mountains and sunsets, but now I notice the birds, the insects, and the changing of the seasons. Again, these are all things that rural farm people live with every day. In cities we have to work a little harder to see and appreciate natural beauty in the midst of a man-made world of concrete and steel. It can definitely be done, though. One way I connect with nature is by planting seeds and learning to garden. I am a novice at this, but the wonder of beauty and nature are now on my patio in containers. Beauty also exists in music and art. We said earlier that play can connect you to your own inner artist. Appreciating beauty in the arts allows you to benefit from the artistry and creativity of others. I love great music and great literature (including a growing interest in poetry).

Conclusion

Play is one of the realms of life that I include in my Forward Story. It is so important to me now that I plan for it in each different time period of my life. I believe you should, too. If you do not plan for it and make it a priority, you will likely do way too little of it.

I would love to know what kinds of play you engage in and what it does for you. Please let me know in the comments below.

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Won’t a Forward Story Remove the Fun in Life?

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© Jeu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Jeu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

The basic premise of this blog is that it is important to have an effective plan for your future, which I call a Forward Story. Other people refer to it as a life plan or a mission statement.

An excellent question is whether having your own Forward Story will ruin the fun, spontaneity, and excitement in life.

People who are so rigid in their planning for the future that they cannot enjoy life have something seriously wrong with their approach. Can you imagine writing a mission statement like this?

My purpose in life is to do only those things and have only those experiences that I have determined beforehand to do. I will not engage in any activity outside of what I have specifically planned to do.

Two Extremes

There are two extremes:

  • No plans and maximum fun
  • No fun and maximum plans

Can we agree that neither of these extremes is how we want to live?

I do think that the idea of a detailed Forward Story and the idea of complete spontaneity must compete with one another.

You may be a person that is free-spirited and doesn’t really believe in much planning for the future or envisioning what is possible. Perhaps you just live for the moment and believe that to do planning will either ruin the fun in life or will be a waste of time because what is going to happen is going to happen anyway. To you I would say that you can preserve the spontaneity and fun in life while still creating a Forward Story that will provide direction and meaning.

On the other hand, you may be a person that is organized, regimented, and future-oriented. To you spontaneous experiences are simply not on the schedule so should be avoided. To you I would say that you can write a meaningful Forward Story that builds in space and openness to adventure, fun, and spontaneity.

There is a reason that we all know the sayings:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

and

You must stop and smell the roses.

I have to admit that some of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had were at times when something unexpected and off-schedule happened. Let’s face it, an important part of the human experience is actually experiencing it. Are you really alive if you can’t feel the sun on your skin and the wind in your hair? Far from detracting from your Forward Story, these experiences simply add value to your life. There is nothing incompatible about having a plan and having fun. In fact, I think a great part of a Forward Story is to include a plan to have fun. This is the part of the story that I refer to as the realm of play. You know, the kind of play that Jack should really open up to.

In our next article we will talk a little more about “play” that prevents Jack’s dullness.

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In the Unlikely Event of a Loss of Cabin Pressure

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http://airlineworld.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/safety_oxygen_mask.jpg

http://airlineworld.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/safety_oxygen_mask.jpg

If you have ever flown, you have heard the speech:

In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, panels above your seat will open revealing oxygen masks. Reach up and pull a mask towards you. Place it over your nose and mouth, and secure with the elastic band that can be adjusted to ensure a snug fit. The plastic bag will not fully inflate, although oxygen is flowing. Secure your own mask first before helping others.

Notice that curious last sentence. Why should you secure your own mask first before helping others? Isn’t that selfish? What if your small child is seated next to you and is gasping for air? What if your elderly mother is traveling with you and needs help? Are you really supposed to look out for Number One?

Of course, most of us can explain the reason why we should secure our own mask first. Of what use will you be to your child or mother if you have lost consciousness because of a lack of oxygen? In this emergency situation we can see the importance of taking care of ourselves.

For some reason, though, when we start to think about all of our different responsibilities, many of us feel guilt about taking care of ourselves with regard to our physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Realms

I want to suggest that each of us operates in many different realms. The concept of realms was introduced in our series on mind maps. The three realms I like to work with are the realms of:

  • Family
  • Personal
  • Career

These categories could be named differently and can be expanded in different ways, but I think these three realms can encompass everything I need to take care of in my life in order to be happy, healthy, and productive. All of these realms impact the other. For example, Personal includes my body and my health. When I make a point of eating right, getting proper exercise, and going to the doctor, am I being selfish? Let’s say that in the interest of not being selfish I do not eat right, do not do proper exercise, and do not go to the doctor. What is almost certain to happen? From experience I know that I would get sick, get fat, feel terrible, and likely shorten my life. In that condition what is my capacity to take care of my family or my career? You see, this is like putting on your oxygen mask first. As I take care of myself, I have more energy and health to take care of my responsibilities and dreams in the realms of Family and Career.

It is important that we also avoid extremes. What if I have really bought into the importance of taking care of my body and my health to the point that I exercise five hours per day, and spend half the family budget on nutritional supplements and personal trainers? No good. That is an extreme. That much time spent on body and health would likely harm my family relationships, which require time. It would also likely harm my relationship with my employer and negatively impact my career. There is delicate interplay between all three of these realms. If I go crazy in any one of them, it will likely be to the detriment of one or both of the other realms.

So, am I arguing for balance? I think the word balance is going a bit too far. If by balance we mean an equal allocation of time to all three realms, that is not what I mean. There are times when my job and career take an inordinate amount of time and focus. During those times I may feel pressure in the realms of Family and Personal. If a family member is sick and needs my attention, I may feel pressure in my Career and Personal realms. The important thing is to be conscious of all three realms and to not let one dominate the others for great periods of time. If your job and career dominates your life for a long period of time, for example, divorces often follow. If your focus on health and body dominates for long periods of time, your Career may suffer.

So, back to the oxygen mask. The fact that you put your mask on first means that you are taking care of the caregiver. That is not where you stop, though. You have taken care of yourself SO THAT you can take care of your child or mother. The reason we take care of our own health is so that we have the capacity to do all of the other things we need to do. In the next article we will expand our three realms more and discuss each sub-realm in more detail.

 

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Holidays Don’t Scare Me

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Pumpkin Swirl Cheesecake (Wheat-Free & Sugar-Free)

In February 2012 my wife and I transformed the way we eat. We did something radical and eliminated all wheat from our diet. Cold turkey. One day I was eating a sandwich – the next day I was not. The results have been amazing. If you consider all of the foods we eat that contain wheat, you could end up with the same reaction as comedian John Pinette:

The winter holidays for our family are dominated not only by the warm glow of being with family and loved ones, but also by incredible food. Like many Americans, our holiday food is rich and delicious, but not ideal for people concerned about their weight and health. As we approached Thanksgiving 2012, our first Thanksgiving without wheat, I was a little concerned. Would I really be able to say no to the macaroni and cheese? Could I pass on the cookies, cakes, and pies that are such a wonderful part of our family’s tradition? Would I hurt someone’s feelings by saying “no thanks” to their famous goodie? This really was a concern.

I should have known that our family would be very supportive and non-judgmental about our food. We are very fortunate to have a family that wants what is best for us, even if it seems weird to them. Going wheat-free or gluten-free certainly does seem weird to many people. I also attribute our holiday success to two factors that relate to our Forward Story.

1. Forward Vision. Because our health is such a priority for us, we try to view each daily decision through the lens of the future. If I choose to eat these cookies, will the ensuing discomfort and negative health consequences be worth the temporary pleasure enjoyed? Listen, for my wife’s pies and cookies, the answer is almost yes. But we try to follow the philosophy that “Nothing tastes as good as being lean and fit feels.” By considering the future consequences of the current decision, I tend to make better decisions. In a previous article we referred to this as future-oriented behavior.

2. Planning for Success. The photo at the top of this post is the pumpkin swirl cheesecake that my wife made for Thanksgiving. It is a wheat-free and sugar-free recipe from Maria Emmerich. It is remarkable. The fact that we knew Thanksgiving could be a challenge for us led us to plan to have a viable alternative. This cheesecake was so good that even the wheat eaters in our family liked it. Along with the non-judgmental attitude of our family, having this alternative led to our success. It has given us confidence that in the future we can handle Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the challenges presented at birthday parties and other family gatherings as long as we plan for success. Planning for this success and actually following through on that plan was a key.

I accept the fact that having forward vision and planning for success does not come naturally for everyone. In fact, it may not come naturally for any of us, but some of us do seem to more naturally adopt these practices. If you struggle in this area, I want to encourage you that these are skills you can cultivate. If you do, you will be pleased with the results. It is worth the effort to grow in this area of your life.

I am now only 13 pounds away from my weight as a senior in high school 32 years ago! I am now 37 pounds lighter than when I began. I want to say thanks to our family for their support. It means a lot to have a good network of people that care about us.

Tell me about your own Forward Story. How do you employ forward vision and plan for success?

Has the role your family has played been a positive or a negative for you?

 

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Graduation Stories

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Today we are attending the college graduation of our niece, Amy, who crosses a threshold into the rest of her life. Any kind of graduation marks a potential turning-point for people. It is the completion of a defined phase of education or training that was begun because it held a certain promise of a better future.

As these graduates today listen to the commencement address and walk across the stage to get their diplomas, they will be reflecting on the hard work of the past four years and thinking about the future. Some of them already have jobs lined up, while others see little hope for a good job. Regardless of where they find themselves in the job market, they are all in need of a plan – a strategy. They need a narrative for the future. Hopefully they will not view today as the end of education, but rather as the beginning of their life-long commitment to learning and improvement. All of us need such a plan, whether we went to college or not.

It is my hope that Amy and her fellow graduates will design a powerful narrative for their futures, a Forward Story, to help guide the paths they take and to fulfill their highest and best ambitions.

Congratulations, Amy!

Matt, “you got next.”