It is the end of an era because he was the final packmate of the trio that included our other beloved corgis Fiona and Toby. Those two were our originals that we adopted when our children were still young and at home. Rhett joined their already well-established pecking order and found a way to fit right in. For the next many years our house was a flurry of furry activity. It was equally noisy and enchanting.

Rhett’s life began at a breeder operation about an hour from us that was dubious, to be kind. To not be kind, it was a puppy mill. Our daughter was at college and wanted a dog to keep her company. She loved our other corgis, so I began looking for corgis in our area. I found this breeder online. We drove there to meet Rhett for the first time. He had been born in October, so he was only a few weeks old when we met him in November 2009.

We waited in the office while Rhett was brought in to us. He was so tiny and so precious. It was love at first sight. Honestly, how can you not fall in love at first sight with all puppies? I requested to see the mother and father (or dam and sire, if you prefer breeder talk). The woman was very reluctant to let me see them. I insisted. She took me back through a maze of dilapidated buildings to a ramshackle shed where this poor mother dog was living in what appeared to me to be squalid conditions. It made me sad. It also made me angry.

I have titled this article “Rescuing Rhett” because once I saw the conditions in which he was born, I intended to rescue him as soon as possible to give him the life he deserved. I was able to do just that on December 10, 2009. I drove down there with a new crate and brought him back to our house. After Rhett was safely in our lives, I also filed a complaint with the authorities about the abysmal conditions at that facility. I never got closure on that, but in my mind I hope that is reason there is no longer any online presence for that breeder.

Off Rhett went to college with Kellen in January 2010 as a very young pup. It was in Lubbock, Texas that he provided love to a college student far from home. There he learned to chase frisbees, go on walks, and keep watch over the apartment as his Mom was at school. Later our son also joined our daughter at college in Lubbock, and he spent a lot of time with Rhett as well.

Every pet has unique characteristics. Rhett had many. One of his most endearing was that when he was picked up and held, he would put his chin on your shoulder facing backward. To us it seemed like a hug, so we would ask him, “Hugs?” Then he would dutifully allow us to pick him and up and hold him in that embrace. He was especially willing to give hugs to Kellen and Matt.

I have lost some of the exact chronology, but once Kellen finished college she and Rhett moved home and lived in an apartment. Then, through an apartment change that allowed no pets, it made sense for Rhett to come live with us and join the existing pack of two with Toby and Fiona. After a short adjustment time, the three of them had the pecking order worked out. Fiona was the Alpha and in charge, but she allowed Rhett to wrestle with her and chew on her a little. There was a limit to that, however, and she would let him know when he had crossed the line.

At various points both Kellen and Matt lived with us and our pack for short times while they were getting started in their careers, so all of us got to enjoy the corgi pack. We have special memories of all three dogs interacting together. Corgis are such entertaining little beings.

In August 2015 Fiona was the first of our pack to cross the Rainbow Bridge. Toby and Rhett became closer and inseparable.

One story from that timeframe. In July 2016 some friends visited us from out of state and stayed at our house. One of the children in that family left her bedroom door open with a suitcase on the floor. Toby, who was always food-crazy, found a package of sugar-free gum. He recruited Rhett to help him devour the package. When we discovered this situation, we realized that the gum was sweetened with Xylitol – very toxic to dogs. Given that it was a weekend, we had to take them both to the emergency veterinarian. When all was said and done, the final tally was $3,646. That was a very expensive pack of gum! From that point forward our vet clinic referred to Toby and Rhett as “The Xylitol Twins.”

We lost Toby in April 2018. He had been our first corgi. As with Fiona, it was very painful to let him go. Our house was much quieter with only little Rhett left. He was never a loud dog, except for four triggers which would set him off. We are certain that he learned his hatred of all three from Fiona. If you wanted Rhett to bark and make a racket, just put a new trash bag in the garbage bin, run a vacuum cleaner across the floor, set up the ironing board, or fire up the hair dryer. I am sure Fiona was proud of her understudy as he faithfully maintained her legacy.

In April 2019 Rhett was diagnosed with Progressive Retinal Atrophy (PRA), a genetic condition allowed to occur because of the unethical breeder, who did not do needed testing before breeding the sire and dam. Our veterinary ophthalmologist explained that every puppy born to that mother and father will have developed PRA. It leads to blindness, and there is no cure.

So, the last few years of his life Rhett was in near-total blindness. It was amazing to see him use his senses of smell, hearing, and touch to compensate for his loss of vision. We had a dog door onto the back patio and into the back yard. Even with his deteriorating sight, he would easily go out and spend hours on the patio enjoying the great outdoors. He had every square inch of that house mapped.

Then in July 2021, we moved into a new house. The back yard is steep enough to require stairs. Stairs are one obstacle Rhett could not master. It was too dangerous. So there was no dog door for him at the new place. Even so, after a couple of challenging weeks, he adjusted beautifully to the new house. The covered back patio was a place he really enjoyed hanging out. We installed a gate so he could not wander onto the stairs. He really enjoyed spending time on that patio and feeling the breeze. He loved being with us and was our constant companion. He was an important part of our human pack.

A couple of additional observations about Rhett. He hated riding in the car. By the time we got him to the vet, he was incredibly stressed and shaking. Like I said, dogs all have their own little idiosyncrasies. Also, when our young grandson would visit us and eat in his high chair, much of what was intended for his mouth ended up on the floor. This was fine with Rhett, who hung out underneath and kept the area clean.

As I already mentioned, even though Rhett was a quiet dog, he was not silent. Our house is now much quieter. There is no more clicking of nails on the floor. There is no more shaking of his collar tag. There is no more sprinting for doors that are opened. Of course, we think of him anytime we vacuum, dry hair, or put in a new trash bag. It is quiet. There is also no longer a faithful companion waiting by the front door or the garage entry door for our return. 

I must thank my Dad for helping take care of Rhett each time we were out of town. My Dad is a definite “dog person.” He had a special place in his heart for Rhett. I know he misses him, too. I also want to thank him for being there for me as we laid Rhett to rest under his and Mom’s Memorial Oak. It is a perfect place where Rhett joins their beloved dog Prissy and Charley the cat, as well as my sister’s cats Buddy and Sasha. Margot and I are grateful.

As with Fiona and Toby, I once again want to thank Dr. Todd Rabon at VCA Premiere Animal Hospital for his compassionate care for Rhett.

At the end of this era, what did Rhett mean to us? He brightened our lives with companionship and happiness. He was important not only to Margot and me, but also to Kellen and Matt. As with Fiona, Toby, and all of the special cats we have had, we stand in admiration – no, we stand in awe – of God’s creative work.

I miss you, Rhett. I love you, buddy. Thank you for sharing our lives with us.

On Wednesday of this week (4/18/18) at least two beloved corgis ended their stays on earth. One belonged to Queen Elizabeth (the last of her famous corgis), and one belonged to us. Both the Queen’s Willow and our Toby were 14 years old.

The news coverage all says that Queen Elizabeth was hit “extremely hard” by the loss of Willow. We understand. Both of these dogs were important and loved.

I know how it is when other people lose a pet. I empathize with them, but there is no way I can know about everything they will miss about that pet. So it is with our Toby to you. He was our family member, not yours. I am certain you can understand what we are feeling, but you cannot know exactly what made Toby special to our family. So for my sake I need to write a few words. You might find something here for you as well, but even if not I hope you will understand my need to pay tribute to our royal corgi. He was certainly treated like royalty around here.

Margot and Toby – March 2004

In tribute to him I need to say that he was our first corgi. We got him as a puppy from Yvonne Gerhardt in Fredericksburg, Texas. I will never forget that spring break when we spent a few days in Fredericksburg. Our primary mission was meeting with Yvonne and getting our new family member. He was so tiny.

He was everything we wanted in a dog.

As he grew we added another corgi, Fiona, to the mix. We also added our daughter’s corgi mix, Rhett. They were quite the threesome. Fiona ruled the roost until she left us. Toby and Rhett got along splendidly, and now Rhett is wondering why the house is so quiet.

Toby loved food. Breakfast, midday snack, dinner, midnight snack. He would eat as much as we would feed him. He never lost that right up until the very last. More about that later.

Toby’s “personality” was not without its challenges. Many years ago when our son’s girlfriend was at our house for a Super Bowl party, she reached down to pet Toby and he bit her finger. We think it was the anxiety of having a house full of young people, but he did it. We were very cautious after that, but when he would get surprised, he would sometimes snap. Many years ago he bit a vet (at our former clinic) despite our warning her that he sometimes bites. Instead of exercising caution, she reached down to pet him and drew back a bitten finger.

Matt, Toby, and Fiona

That particular bite was especially costly. When the vet went to the emergency room for her finger (which I still think was unwarranted, but whatever), the authorities filed a report and we got a knock at the door from the puppy police. City ordinance required that Toby go to dog jail (quarantine) for 10 days. The only place we could find that would take him was Premier Animal Hospital in Cedar Park, Texas. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship that continues to this day.

Not only did Toby graduate from quarantine, he thrived under the care of Dr. Todd Rabon and the staff at Premier. I wish I could properly convey the gratitude that my family and I have for Dr. Rabon. As a Longhorn with a lot of friends and family who are Aggies, he is right up there as one of my favorite Aggies. He is a compassionate human being who understands what people go through when it is time to say goodbye. He does it right.

Before I get to the Toby sendoff, I have to say that Dr. Rabon’s care of Toby over the years included the removal of a toe that had to go and the removal of a cancerous tumor last November. Through all of the years of care, no one at Premier was ever bitten. That is a testament to the professionalism of this organization.

The Gum Caper

Two years ago there was also The Gum Caper. The child of a friend who was staying with us for a couple of days left a pack of sugar-free gum in her suitcase in the guest room and left the door open. Toby found it and enlisted Rhett’s help in consuming pretty much every last bite. When I discovered it I saw enough of the remaining package to know that they had eaten gum sweetened with xylitol. As you may know, xylitol is very toxic to dogs. Since it was after hours, off we went to the ER. After staying all night in the ER getting treatment, they were then transferred to Dr. Rabon at Premier where he successfully treated them. The total bill between the ER and the follow-up was $3,646. That hurt, but we were so grateful that they were both in such great hands. I understand that Toby and Rhett were known for a while at Premier as The Xylitol Twins.

Toby and his buddy Rhett

It was the cancerous tumor that was removed last November that came back and ultimately led us to the recent decision. I mentioned how much Toby loved food. Let’s just say that the awesome vet tech, Meredith, knew this and lavished Toby with incredible treats and sent him out a very happy dog. We will forever be grateful to both Meredith and Dr. Rabon. You guys are simply the best. Our entire family appreciates your compassion and professionalism.

Closing Thoughts

I vividly remember 16 years ago both of my kids, dogless at the time, exerting maximum pressure on me to add a canine to our feline household. I resisted for two years until I was finally worn down. They did not know the real reason that I resisted for so long. It was not because I disliked dogs. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I love dogs. I grew up with a wonderful beagle named Snoopy. I still get teary-eyed thinking about Snoopy. What I knew sixteen years ago about dogs is that they do not live forever. There always comes a day like Wednesday when the Queen and I have to say goodbye to our corgis.

Toby and Kellen at Christmas

Sixteen years ago I was basically a coward not wanting the hurt of saying goodbye. I was wrong. This really does hurt terribly, but I was wrong. I would not trade one day of our 14 years with Toby to avoid this pain (OK, maybe I would trade the days that he bit someone). This pain is rendered irrelevant compared to the incredible journey of sharing our lives with old Toby.

Margot and I both thanked Toby for being such a great companion. Our house will never be the same, but our lives are richer for having shared them with Toby. The tears will slow, but the memories will never stop.

I will miss you and those big beautiful ears, Toby-Bear.

He was a good athlete. He hunts. He fishes. He has at least one of every power tool ever made…and he has used them all. Heck, at age 76 he still uses them all. He is an accomplished mechanic who restores vintage cars like Ford Model Ts. He welds. He mows. He chainsaws. He is a master with the smoker and grill. His brisket is still the standard by which I measure all others. What I am saying is that by every standard by which masculinity is usually measured, he is manly.

It has always been easy for me to look at him and see what a man looks like, but that is not what makes him so special. There are manly men everywhere. What makes him special is the ease with which he models both his manliness and his sensitivity. From the time I was a small child he was comfortable with hugging me and telling me he loved me. We still hug. We still affirm our love for each other. I have come to realize that not all fathers know how to do that. He is a gentle and kind man. He is a man of faith.

My grandfather died when I was five years old. I still remember him, but the memories are veiled by years and by my age at the time. So, I don’t know if he modeled this physical and verbal form of fatherhood for my Dad to see. I will find out today when I speak to him on Father’s Day. Regardless of where he learned it, Dad decided that he would tell his children that he loves them and that he would embrace them to demonstrate his love. He has been consistent with it. I am grateful for that. It helped me see that there is no contradiction between masculinity and sensitivity.

I have friends who did not have that kind of model in their father. Some of them struggle with showing affection to their children. I cannot blame them because the way we are raised has a powerful impact on how we parent. If you are one of those men who struggles with kindness, affection, and expressiveness with your children, let me challenge you to break the cycle. Find a man who does it the way you want to do it and have a conversation with him. Try it sometime with your children even though it may feel strange. You have the opportunity to start a new family tradition that you can pass along to your children and grandchildren. Boys need to see this positive practice of masculinity, and girls need to see it as well.

There are really no downsides to my Dad’s approach. I highly recommend it, and I try to practice it myself.

So, thank you, Miller Lee.

I love you.

Today (8/26/15) was a hard day in our household. We had to say goodbye to a furry friend who graced our home for over ten years. Her name was Fiona. We often called her FiFi. She was a tri-colored Pembroke Welsh Corgi, an enchanted little breed of herding dogs that think they are much larger than they actually are. She was our “alpha male” who presided over a pack that included two male corgis – Toby and Rhett.

Like all dogs, she had some very special qualities and a unique personality that made a difference in our family. Her unique trick was sitting on her butt like a chipmunk. She could balance like that for a long time. She was also the most gentle dog we have met. She loved children and loved us to be in the floor with her so she could snuggle up tight.

I am sure it is a testament to the blessed and easy nature of our lives so far that the decision to let her go was one of the hardest we have ever made. Were we sure there were no other alternatives? We stretched this agonizing decision over multiple days until we were certain it was time.

As Margot and I drove home and amid our tears we agreed that even though the pain of separation is sharp, we would not have traded those ten years of love to avoid this moment. It was not our decision that brought Fiona into this world — that happened without our knowledge or involvement. It was our decision to allow her to become part of our lives, and we will never regret that no matter how much this hurts. The love was worth it all. We gave her a great home, great kids, great canine brothers, and a lot of love. She gave us joy, happiness, and her own love in return. What more can you ask?

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. – Alfred, Lord Tennyson

In the end we made a decision motivated by that same real love we bathed her in all her life. Our lives and those of Kellen and Matt are richer because she shared hers with us. Dr. Todd Rabon and the staff at Premier Animal Hospital are compassionate caregivers. We thank you all for your tender care.

Note: See the follow-up post here.

Saturday is a good day to recap the activity from our Twitter feed from the past week. Not sure what Twitter is all about? That’s OK. Neither are we (or at least it remains somewhat mysterious to us). There is no denying, however, that there is some very valuable information shared on Twitter. That is what this weekly feature is all about. Click the links below to check out the good stuff. Here are my Top Tweets from this past week, great for retweeting (whatever that is). If you missed these, follow Forward Story on Twitter.

By the way, if you are wondering what the @ and # signs are all about, these are Twitter’s way to identify the Twitter handle (@) for the person who tweeted (for example, ours is @forward_story) and to allow for an indexing or categorization of the tweet by using one or more hashtags (#). Feel free to ignore these and just follow the link for the content we are sharing with you.

Here are a few recipes from people we trust:

Mark_Sisson ‏@Mark_Sisson Cool Down with Some Salted Watermelon Ice: http://ow.ly/OEz7X

Danielle Walker ‏@againstallgrain Autumn in a Bowl: Spiced Pumpkin Granola #paleo #glutenfree #againstallgrain http://grainfree.ly/1GoeKxx

Civilized Caveman ‏@CookingCaveman Pumpkin Pie smoothie, so easy and so delicious. #paleo #primal #smoothie #recipes http://pinterest.com/pin/64950419602936550/

Maria Emmerich ‏@MariaEmmerich Homemade Almond Milk http://buff.ly/1KeeLbA #LCHF #keto #lowcarb

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Farmers’ Market Locator

Mark_Sisson ‏@Mark_Sisson An Easy Way to Find Your Local Farmers Market. http://ow.ly/OEyoG

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 Some great information related to health:

Why You Can’t Medicate Your Way Out Of Poor Diet & Lifestyle Choices by @TerryWahls http://mbg.io/6Rqa0Lf

Sara Gottfried, MD ‏@DrGottfried The right and left nostril may help you get back to sleep after waking in the middle of the night. Watch as I… http://fb.me/3X4tKU9pl

Experience Life ‏@ExperienceLife 2 simple stretches to loosen early-morning body stiffness this weekend http://j.mp/1wYFlM1 #stretching #exercise #bettermornings

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Free Books for Kids from B&N

Susan Adcox ‏@grandparent Great for the grandkids! RT @aboutdotcom: How to get free books from Barnes and Noble this Summer http://abt.cm/1fmoVtK

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Parents and Grandparents

Susan Adcox ‏@grandparent Amen! RT @thegrandestlove: Grandchildren can bring love and second chances with adult children http://ow.ly/OKZmd

Saturday is a good day to recap the activity from our Twitter feed from the past week. Not sure what Twitter is all about? That’s OK. Neither are we (or at least it remains somewhat mysterious to us). There is no denying, however, that there is some very valuable information shared on Twitter. That is what this weekly feature is all about. Click the links below to check out the good stuff. Here are my Top Tweets from this past week, great for retweeting (whatever that is). If you missed these, follow Forward Story on Twitter.

Here are a couple of recipes from people we trust:

From Gourmet Girl – Happy National Donut Day! (Entirely lowcarb and glutenfree, of course.) http://www.gourmetgirlcooks.com/2015/05/did-somebody-say-donuts-make-your.html

From Slim Palate – Blackberry Pie Bars http://slimpalate.com/blackberry-pie-bars/

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 Some great information related to health:

From Dr. Colin Champ – (This is a link to scientific article) Obese children have different bowel bacteria: http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2431/15/64

Another from Dr. Colin Champ – Seven Steps to a Perfect Night’s Sleep:

http://www.cavemandoctor.com/2015/05/28/seven-steps-to-a-perfect-nights-sleep/

From Dr. David Perlmutter – Do you really want to leave your chance of dementia to the flip of a coin? Here’s how to beat the odds. http://bit.ly/1AS6Pct

From The University of Texas – Six Tips for Staying Sharp http://news.utexas.edu/2015/05/11/six-tips-for-staying-sharp

From Mark Sisson – The Myth of Perfect Conditions: 9 Common Excuses Used to Delay Exercise http://ow.ly/NMkYC

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 Seth Godin is always thought-provoking:

Seth’s Blog: The critic as an amateur hack

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2015/06/the-critic-as-an-amateur-hack.html

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Family and Parenting / Grandparenting

Here is an article from Susan Adcox for Grandarents – Give Grandchildren the Gift of a Special Experience http://grandparents.about.com/od/Gifts-to-Give-to-Grandchildren/fl/Give-Grandchildren-the-Gift-of-a-Special-Experience.htm

From Amy Morin – Yes, you want to protect your child, but kids really need to experience these 7 uncomfortable emotions:
http://discipline.about.com/od/teachingnewskills/fl/7-Uncomfortable-Emotions-You-Need-to-Allow-Your-Child-to-Experience.htm

Saturday is a good day to recap the activity from our Twitter feed from the past week. Not sure what Twitter is all about? That’s OK. Neither are we (or at least it remains somewhat mysterious to us). There is no denying, however, that there is some very valuable information shared on Twitter. That is what this weekly feature is all about. Click the links below to check out the good stuff. Here are my Top Tweets from this past week, great for retweeting (whatever that is). If you missed these, follow Forward Story on Twitter.

Here are a couple of recipes from Maria Emmerich, a master of gluten-free and low carb cooking:

Low Carb Pancake http://buff.ly/1Aq7DWf

Fudgsicles http://buff.ly/1IVmf0L

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 Some great information related to health:

A Hedge against Drought: Why Healthy Soil is ‘Water in the Bank’ https://shar.es/1rFlGK 

I know it’s counter-intuitive: Why People Who Sleep Longer Achieve More http://mhyatt.us/1wSPmLK 

When Daily Life Is Exercise, Everywhere Is the Gym http://www.cavemandoctor.com/2015/05/19/when-daily-life-is-exercise-everywhere-is-the-gym/

“Food should not contain ingredients, it should be an ingredient.” http://bit.ly/1Ap712w 

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A little wisdom from two great sources:

New Podcast Episode: The Secret Power of Smiling http://mhyatt.us/1HL5lQY 

How to Run a Debt-Free Business Without Running Out of Cash [VIDEO] http://bit.ly/1AhZZgg 

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Great flood safety tips:

5 ways you can be ready when a flood hits: http://abt.cm/1PNgR5m 

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Seth Godin is always thought-provoking:

Seth’s Blog: The do over – http://bit.ly/1IXiOrS

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Here is a wonderful article from Susan Adcox that speaks to grandparents helping their grandchildren cope with cancer:

When a family member is diagnosed with cancer, grandparents can help grandchildren cope: http://ow.ly/NwFc2

Prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.

It’s meaning is clear. The path ahead for all of us is uncertain and can be frightening. This includes the path ahead of our children. Our parental instincts are to run interference for them and to smooth the path. When our children are very young, this is normal and required. As our children mature, though, and begin to approach adulthood, it is dangerous to try to prepare the path for them. When Mom and Dad always step in to make things right, fair, and easy, it can give them the false idea that difficulties won’t come. It teaches them that someone else will solve their problems for them. That is irresponsible.

We are at somewhat of a disadvantage culturally when we do not have adolescent puberty rites. In tribal cultures boys and girls did not have the option to remain immature. When their bodies began to change, they were initiated into adulthood through rituals that most of us would find appalling. There was no doubt, though, after the ritual that the boy was to be considered a man and the girl was to be considered a woman. Mom and Dad were not going to run interference any more to keep their children children. I am not arguing that we need to invent puberty rights, but I am arguing that it is the responsibility of parents to grow children who are ready for the path and not afraid of adulthood.

As difficult as it is to do, as parents we must focus our energies on getting our children ready to face life on their own. We should equip them so that they can deal with whatever life throws at them. Sure, if we are still around we can help them and counsel them if they seek such guidance, but they have to learn to deal with life on their own. We will not always be around. Even if we are, we cannot handle their adult problems for them. That is their job.

I have not lived in my parents’ house for over 32 years. They prepared me for the path, and I have functioned as an adult for a long time. I do have to add, though, that while I am no longer under my parents’ control, I am still under their influence. I say this to assure parents that if you adopt the approach I am encouraging, you will raise children that are ready for life’s path, but you will retain your influence. In fact, you will likely have more influence than if you have always tried to control their lives and circumstances. Strangely, children who have been reared in an overprotective way often grow up to resent that level of control and interference.

It is also true that one of the great joys in life is to observe your adult children adapting to life and handling the path they are on. That is when you know you have done your job well and that they will be OK on their own.

In what ways do you prepare your child for the path?

It’s Saturday morning, and I am about to head down to our local farmers’ market to stand in a line and buy a product that my wife loves: Kombucha. We refill seven bottles each week. She has a one bottle per day habit.

I am starting to wonder what they put in this stuff that makes it so irresistible. Kombucha is an ancient beverage that tastes a little weird at first, but really grows on you. It contains an active culture called a SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast), which is probiotic.

The guy that sells this stuff is known to us only as Kombucha Guy. I’m sure he has a real name, but we don’t want to know it. We prefer to refer to him as Kombucha Guy because this fella really loves kombucha. He embodies the practice of ABS – Always Be Selling. He can have a line of ten people waiting patiently to refill their bottles and yet he is still singing the praises of kombucha to every person who walks by his booth.

The thing I like about Kombucha Guy is that he really loves what he is doing. As far as I can tell, he is totally sold on kombucha as a product, and he really believes everyone should be drinking it.

It reminds me of one of my favorite poems. In Two Tramps in Mud Time, Robert Frost writes:

My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation

The idea of uniting your avocation (your love) and your vocation (your work) is the holy grail of career goals. If you are ever able to combine these together, do you ever really “work”?

I would love to hear from you if work and love are the same. What do you do? If your current work is not what you love, what do you think you would love to do?