Category Archives: Learning

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Mind-Mapping the Nearer Term – Adding Age 25

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In our last article our 18 year-old John completed his mind map for the time-frame 12 years down the road when he is 30 years old. He put in writing in his mind map his various dreams and goals across three areas – family, career, and personal. However, there is a large gap between where John is right now at 18 and where he wants to be when he is 30. Now comes a crucial step for John. He must answer the question, “How do I get there from here?”

When we introduced John in this series we identified the time-frames that he will plan for. The exact time-frames are flexible and can be defined as John desires. The most important thing is that these time windows make sense to the person creating the mind map – in this case John. Here is the mind map we laid out for John: (all images will enlarge when clicked)

With his age 30 mind-map completed, the next time-frame for John is the next seven years. At the end of that window he will be 25 years old. This period is exactly five years before the age 30 period he has already completed. With each new time period, John has to review the plans he has already written to make sure that what he plans in this new time-frame truly enables him to accomplish what he has already written in his longer time-frames. For example:

  • Family. John wants to be living near his parents when he is 30 in order to be able to take care of them. The likelihood of that happening will depend in large part on John’s decisions by age 25. He has to make sure that this new time-frame takes location into account.
  • Career. John said that when he is 30 he will be in his 7th year of work as an engineer. In order for this to happen, John needs to have already been an engineer for two years by the time he is 25. If he were now to write that by age 25 he wants to start his first job as an engineer, there is no way he will be in his 7th year of work when he is 30. This is why he must review what he has already written.
  • Personal. Since John wants to be under 190 pounds by the time he is 30, he will want to make sure he is setting a realistic goal for his age 25 time-frame with regard to his weight and health. If he does not pay attention to his weight and instead gains weight in his early to mid twenties, John may have weight problem to deal with when he is 30.

In this way John reviews what is already planned in longer time-frames and begins to write a coherent plan for the shorter time-frames. It is important to note that John’s already completed age 30 plan is not chiseled in stone. In working on an earlier time-frame he may discover that something he has written for age 30 cannot be accomplished by that time. OR he may determine that he has been too conservative and that he can really accomplish more in that more distant period. In either case he will need to go back to age 30 and make changes so that his plan has a realistic shot of success. In this way, the entire process is really an iterative process. That is, it will likely take several iterations (or repetitions) to develop a coherent plan.

Back to Age 25

After reviewing his age 30 mind map, John will now begin writing for age 25 across all three realms. Here is the blank template for age 25 with the familiar fields to guide John in his planning.

Since John has already completed his more distant time-frame, he can more easily step back in time and create his goals:

Family

  • Family Status: Mom & Dad 62, Steve 27, Jane 24, Kate 20
  • If we are not already living near Mom & Dad, we will look for career opportunities to move closer.
  • Steve may have children by this time, and it is important to me to be a good uncle to my nieces and nephews. This is true even if we do not live near one another.
  • I will have contributed my love and help to Jane and will have a healthy, supportive relationship with her as an older brother. I will maintain healthy boundaries.
  • I will continue my strong relationship with Kate and assist her in whatever ways she needs me.
  • I may be an uncle to Jane and/or Kate’s children at this point. As with Steve’s, I will invest in these nieces and nephews and be a wonderful uncle to them.
  • Robin and I will be celebrating our third anniversary.
  • I will support her in her career, life, and interests.
  • I will spend quality time with her and work seriously on making our marriage great. I will invest in us.
  • We may have children by this time. I will take fatherhood seriously and will look out for the well-being of them all.

In reviewing his age 30 map, John notices that he failed to say anything about his in-laws in what he wrote about family. He address this now in the new time-frame by writing:

  • I will make it easy for Robin and the kids to spend time with her parents.
  • I will look for ways to help Robin’s parents.

Also, now that John has identified this oversight from the age 30 plan, he will go back to that age 30 map and add his thinking about his in-laws.

Career

  • I will be in my 2nd year of work as an engineer.
  • I will establish a reputation as a person with a strong work ethic.
  • I will cultivate relationships with engineers I admire in order to learn from them and grow my network.
  • I will look for and participate in continuing education opportunities.
  • I will earn at least $60,000 per year.
  • We will practice wise budgeting and will pay off all student loan debt.

Personal

Body/Health

  • I will keep my weight under 190 pounds.
  • I will play tennis and walk regularly.
  • I will eat a healthy diet, and continually educate myself about the latest in nutritional science.
  • I will get annual physicals from my doctor.

Fun

  • I will take guitar lessons and review the fundamentals of music.
  • I will play in at least one charity golf tournaments each year for fun and to support good causes.
  • I will hunt annually with my Dad and brother.

The World

  • I will explore various charities and volunteer my time to determine the place I am most passionate about serving.
  • I will explore the mentoring a young person through Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
  • I will financially support humanitarian relief efforts through world-class charities.
  • I will vote in local, state, and national elections as an exercise of my civic duty and of patriotic gratitude.

Spiritual

  • I will continue to learn and explore my own spiritual nature and the nature of God.
  • I will focus on my spiritual journey with my wife and grow along with her.
  • I will explore and identify a good group of people/church to belong to and to do spiritual work with.
  • I will strive to be consistent in my religious beliefs and allow them to guide my actions in work and personal life.

Here is all of this information in the mind map for age 25:

When both the age 25 and age 30 map are included, here is John’s map. Remember, this image will enlarge:

Now that we have gone through two different time-frames for John we can begin to understand the process for doing a complete mind map. I think you will agree that it is actually hard work. We have not even completed John’s plan yet for his two closest time-frames. One thing that will emerge as we look to the closer time-frames is that the specific goals will become more like tasks as he begins to realize actions he will need to take to make his longer vision a reality. In our next article we will examine how the closest time-frames will drive John’s actions.

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How To Select a Great Coach

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Coaches are everywhere. It is difficult to find a domain where coaches are not present.

  • Football Coach
  • Track Coach
  • Golf Coach
  • Tennis Coach
  • Debate Coach
  • Job Coach
  • Executive Coach
  • Career Coach

Even if the title “coach” is not applied, often a person is still functioning as a coach. Sometimes we use the words “mentor” and “teacher” to refer to a coach.

What does it mean to coach, and why is it so important? To coach is to instruct, direct, train intensively, and to demonstrate. If you want to learn some new practice or activity that is not natural, you will learn faster and become better if you have a competent coach who can show you how to do it. Perhaps you want to learn to play golf. There is nothing natural about playing golf. How should you grip the club? Which club should you use? How is the golf swing started? What about the stance? Where should the ball be placed relative to your feet? How do you putt the ball? All of these questions and hundreds more need to be answered in order to become a good golfer. Not only do you need to know the answers to these questions, you need to actually practice doing them. Golf is a physical game that requires you actually golf. So, in addition to telling you how to do something and demonstrating how to do it, a coach also trains you. That is, she has you practice the behavior over and over until you do it right. Depending on what you are learning, the coach can be very demanding. This is the reason coaches are often viewed as strong leaders and disciplinarians. They train, direct, and instruct.

You Have to Want It

The truth is that no coach can coach you if you do not want to be coached. If your coach has told you to go run stairs to improve your fitness level, you will only run those stairs if you choose to do it. If you choose not to run those stairs when the coach has directed you to do it, there may well be consequences. For instance, you may be removed from the team. Or, you may simply not get to play. But, that is your choice and your right (at least in environments with individual liberties to choose). So, even though we may gripe and complain about how unreasonable the coach is being, ultimately we choose to be coached because we think it is important to achieve our ambition.

Have you noticed that it is not only the beginner that gets coached? The teams that are at the top of the sports world have coaches. Professional teams have the highest paid coaches. What this demonstrates is that coaching is vital in not only learning the basics, it is vital in learning how to achieve higher and higher levels of expertise. If this were not the case, the world’s greatest golfers would just direct their own practices and analyze their own swings. The better the player, the better coach he or she demands. This is because those players recognize the need for coaching and they want it. If they did not want it, they would not submit to coaching.

Competent Coaches

Unfortunately, not everyone that desires to coach is very good at it. If the golf coach you select doesn’t know much about golf or doesn’t know how to effectively teach you the game, how will that impact you? You will learn wrong information, develop bad habits, and likely not achieve your ambition. This is why it is so important to select your coaches carefully. Not everyone that wants to coach you is competent to do so. If you are a  middle school athlete, you don’t have a choice about who coaches you. If you want to play, you get the coaches that the school has assigned to coach you. Many of those coaches are outstanding, but some of them are still learning themselves how to coach.

Let’s move from school coaching and athletics to other domains of coaching. As stated at the outset, there are executive coaches, career coaches, and coaches for many different professional ambitions. If your ambition is to be a great sales professional, you need to select a great sales coach. You need someone competent to coach effective selling philosophy and to help you develop good selling behaviors. It is extremely important that you select someone with a proven track record of success. You need competency and effectiveness. How do you find it? The same way you select the hiring of a key employee or the purchase of an expensive car or piece of capital equipment. You do your “due diligence.”

Due Diligence

The concept of due diligence is well established in business and law. The term refers to a process of research, conversation, and discovery by which you get to the real truth. If you are looking to purchase a business from someone, you need to know the true status of the business, not just the pretty photos and the company narrative. You need to look into the books to see what the revenues and expenses are. You need to see the balance sheet to understand the company’s assets and liabilities. You need to speak to employees and customers to gauge the company’s strengths and weaknesses. Before you spend your money to buy this business, you need to be sure you have done your homework.

The decision about who will coach you deserves the same level of scrutiny. There are three important ways to search for a competent coach:

  1. Internet. As with most research these days, it will probably involve the internet. There is a wealth of information at click of a SEARCH button.
  2. Network. Speak to the people in your network about the subject of coaching. Find those people who are the best at what you want to do and ask them if they use coaches. Ask for specific names of coaches that they recommend.
  3. Interview. Once you have identified potential coaches, schedule an appointment to discuss their services. Plan your questions before you meet, and treat it like an employment interview. In a way it is. You will want to know his coaching philosophy, formal instruction methods, and costs. Don’t forget that a great coach can help you achieve levels that you never before thought possible, so while cost is important, the cheapest is not necessarily the best.

People who are serious about their careers, sports, or other endeavors look for the best coaches. Hopefully your Forward Story will include the need for and commitment to personal growth in one or more fields of endeavor. If so, having a great coach can be a vital ingredient. The best coaches are competent and have a track record. Make it your goal to find a great coach to help you achieve your ambition.

 

 

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Today I’m 50 – Now What? Maybe Write a Book!

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I recall as a kid being really excited about birthdays. What was not to love? My friends and family made a big deal out the fact that on that date some number of years before, I made my exit from one environment into another. I was the center of attention on that day each year. There were presents, there was cash, there were games, there was singing, and best of all, there was cake. Let them eat cake! What a great thing.

At some point in my adolescence I stopped getting so excited about birthdays. As an adult I observed the annual ritual with indifference as the various milestones clicked past like so many center stripes on a long road trip.

  • At 30 I remember feeling like a “real” adult.
  • At 40 I felt like I had gained some wisdom.
  • Now that I am 50, what do I think? What am I feeling?

According to the United Nations, the average life expectancy of an American male is 75.6 years. What does this mean to me?

  • The hypochondriac in me says that there are a lot of things that will probably get me well before 75.6.
  • The optimist in me says that I will live to be 100.
  • The realist in me says that this means I only have around 25.6 years left. Unless, of course, the Mayans are right (but that’s another story).

Which will it be? I have no crystal ball, so I have no idea. I am not losing sleep over it, either.

I began this blog on July 20,2010 with an initial post on narrative. Before now I have never promoted the blog. I have told a few people about it, and a few more have stumbled upon it, but I have not sought widespread readership. In the past 20 months I have written on a variety of topics all revolving around the idea that all people should be working on a story that looks forward, into the future. I call it a Forward Story.

As I celebrate my half century on the planet today I am taking the wraps off my plan to publish my first book in 2012 entitled Forward Story. While I have been sporadically writing the blog, I have also been working on the book. In writing style the book will be specifically targeted to young people up to their mid-20s, but it will have something to say to all of us, including those 50 and above. The fact is that regardless of your age, you need to have a story for where you are headed. Writing the book Forward Story has been a part of my personal Forward Story for a while now. This is the year to launch it.

This website will be the primary place to keep informed about the book. Feel free to subscribe to the RSS feed or otherwise bookmark forwardstory.com. You can also follow us on twitter at www.twitter.com/forward_story The exact timeframe for publication is not set, but I am committed to publication before the end of the year. In the meantime, feel free to poke around the site and join in the conversation.

Regardless of how many candles you will find on your cake this year, I hope you are writing a beautiful and meaningful Forward Story. Thanks for stopping by. Come back soon.

An Update: It took a lot longer than I hoped, but the book has arrived. You can get your copy here:


Forward Story: Write the Future You Desire

 

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The Khan Academy – A Blessing for Learners Everywhere

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My wife and I are big fans of the CBS television news magazine 60 Minutes. We think Scott Pelley and that team are talented and courageous journalists. As people committed to lifelong learning, we were very excited about last night’s feature of the Khan Academy. Started by Sal Khan to help his cousin with math, Khan Academy is making an immeasurable impact on teaching around the world. It is allowing awesome teachers like Courtney Cadwell (featured in the report) to be effective coaches of the subjects they teach.

A vital part of my Forward Story is continual learning throughout my life. I am about to turn 50, and I feel as though I am just getting started with all the learning I want to do. I have now become a member of Khan Academy and am really excited about the value I am going to produce from it. Some of it will be a refresher for me of material I learned long ago but have not reviewed in a while. This is the “use it or lose it” principle, and I think that is very important.  Some of it will be brand new learning for me.

As you create and maintain your Forward Story, look for ways for Khan Academy to assist you. If you are in middle school or high school and have a dream of attending college one day, Khan Academy is your friend. If you are a college student now and are struggling with some concept, you can find help at Khan. If you are an adult, you can reach new heights with this type of learning.

I highly recommend that you watch the 60 Minutes segment: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7401696n

Thank you to Sal, his team, and to those teachers and administrators who are making this work for their students. Bravo!

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Repetition & Learning

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Repetition is boring for most people. If we hear something over and over again, it gets annoying. Think of your least favorite television commercial and how you feel when it is repeated over and over again during a program or game you are watching. It can be like dripping water.

The same can be said for learning information. Once you have learned how to add 2 + 2, you are ready to move on to something more challenging. If your teacher began each lesson with how to add 2 + 2, it would become very tiring. Let’s move on to subtraction or multiplication.

For all we can say negatively about repetition, however, we have to admit it works. Advertisers know that even if you get annoyed at their ad that runs ten times during the game, chances are you will remember them when buying-time comes around. The guitar player knows that repeated practice hour after hour will lead to competence and fluidity in performance. The tennis player hits forehand after forehand after forehand. Why? Because repetition builds memory — in this case muscle-memory. Of course, it is important to repeat effective behaviors to avoid building bad habits. It is likewise important to learn accurate information in order to avoid believing what is false.

I have discovered that the more complicated a subject is, the more repetition I need in order to really get it. This is the reason medical school is not one semester long. It is the reason law school takes three years. It is the reason that becoming a master electrician is no walk in the park. Before I take a new medicine that my doctor has prescribed for me, I want to know that she really understands the anatomy of the human body, the chemistry of the drug, and why it is going to help me. I trust that she repetitively learned all she needed to learn to be competent to prescribe this medicine.

It takes patience and energy to learn via repetition. There is a biological function occurring as we learn. The brain is stashing information collected from our entire sensory system into various places for future access. The more complicated or unconventional the information, the more repetition is required. I have to give this biology time to work.

Two examples:

  • When I am learning how to effectively manage my personal finances I know that conventional wisdom will not help me. How do I know this? Most people are broke. What is “normal” is not working. To learn a more effective way of handling money requires repetition of some better way. This more effective way is not part of my cultural common sense, so I have to purposely and repetitiously learn this better way. If I stop listening to and learning the better way, I will fall back into the culture’s way, which I get through being part of the culture. As a matter of fact, the way I learned that cultural way of thinking and action about money came about through years and years of…repetition. I am only going to replace that way of doing things with something better if I use the same process — repetition. For me this means podcasts, blogs, books, and conversations with other weird people who are also repetitively learning a better way.
  • I am an American, and like many Americans I have struggled with my body weight. As with personal finances, what is normal in our culture is not what I desire. I desire to be healthy and thin. I desire to avoid the many negative health outcomes of being “normal.” How does a person break away from the cultural norm to begin eating in a different way and to get healthier? The answer is repetition. How many food messages does our culture (and agribusiness) repeat to us each day? That onslaught of information cannot be counteracted once and for all. It has to be counteracted continually and repetitively. Again, for me the repetition takes the form of books, blogs, podcasts, and conversations.

Whatever we want to learn is going to require energy. Our capacity to learn is rooted in language, which along with our large brains is our great advantage over the animal kingdom. We just have to be committed to learning the right things and be willing to put in the work required to make that knowledge an effective force in our lives. This is the reason that life-long learning should be an important part of your Forward Story and mine.

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Thoughts on Gratitude

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The only reason I am able to share these thoughts with you is because a lot of other people have done, and are doing, their jobs. Regardless of what I’m bringing to the table right now, without them I would be powerless to communicate anything to you.

  • This computer was designed and manufactured by teams of creative and hard-working people who brought it into this world.
  • The software that runs the computer was likewise written by people who took their jobs seriously.
  • The electricity that powers this machine is being generated, right now, by people at the local utility who are monitoring their facility and processes. The linemen and repair crews are doing work to ensure that the electricity is properly transmitted to me.
  • The Internet connection in this hotel is provided to me wirelessly. The signal I am working from is being generated by equipment that was designed and manufactured by someone else.
  • My online work is being transmitted to my web provider on a complicated network infrastructure that works a remarkable percentage of the time.
  • In a more distant way, all of my teachers from first grade through college are making this possible. My former bosses, managers, mentors, family, and friends are also in here somewhere. They have all had a part in making me who I am and what I am.

These are but a few examples of how many different people are contributing indirectly to my success. Without their help I would not be able to do what I do in the way I do it or nearly as well as I do it. And yet, I often walk around unaware of what they have done and are doing to contribute to my success. I sometimes act as if my work is strictly of my own doing. During those times I tend to not be very grateful or thankful.

During times like today, though, when I am very aware of all of the people contributing to my success, I feel a depth of gratitude. I develop the eyes to see all of the people making me possible. I get this incredible sense that with their help I can achieve astounding things. Together with all of these wonderful helpers I can do something, be something, and contribute to something greater than myself.

In a strange way, admitting my dependence on other people to do what they do opens up unlimited potential in me. This is the reason I try to notice all of the ways, large and small, that others are contributing to my success. This is the reason I have such gratitude for others. It is the reason I acknowledge others in my Forward Story.

What are you grateful for that enables you to achieve greatness?