Category Archives: Future

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MLK Had a Dream

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On this day dedicated to remembering the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.,  I think it is important to recognize that Dr. King articulated his Forward Story.  The video and text of that momentous speech can be found here. It is an American treasure. It is a human treasure.

Martin Luther King, Jr. photographed by Marion S. Trikosko, 1964. LC-DIG-ppmsc-01269

We could focus on so many important aspects of what he said that day and debate the extent to which his dream has come to fruition. What I think about today is that Dr. King looked at the past sins of our nation. He looked at the present condition of inequality.  And he looked to a future that he believed could actually be brought to reality. It was a dream, but it was a dream based on a strong hope.

This ability to hope and envision a forward story is uniquely human and is ultimately optimistic. One of the great challenges for young people of all races today is to develop this practice of creating their own forward story. If you devote energy and time to your own future vision and then act to bring it to pass, you will be amazed at how your own dreams can become reality.

Thank you, Dr. King.

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Next Time

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I no longer own a copy of the Arthur Gordon’s important book A Touch of Wonder, but I recall a powerful story he shares in the book about the way we relate to the past and the future.

He tells of a psychiatrist friend of his in New York City that helped him during a time of regret. Gordon had missed a great opportunity, the kind that only comes around once or twice in a lifetime. He was lamenting this mistake and was stuck in regret. He just could not get over his mistake.

His friend noticed that Gordon kept using a phrase common to those stuck in the past and hamstrung by regret: “If only…”

If only:

  • I had not made that choice.
  • I had taken advantage of that opportunity.
  • I had not said that.
  • I had done something different.

“If only” can hinder and limit.

Gordon’s friend encouraged him to substitute another two word phrase each time he found himself thinking “If only.” The new phrase? “Next time.”

Next time:

  • I will make the better choice.
  • I will take advantage of that opportunity.
  • I will not say that.
  • I will do something different.

“If only” ties us to the past in a limiting way. “Next time” points us to a hopeful future in which we learn from past mistakes and make better choices.

The next time you find yourself tied to the past in a limiting way, try to use the phrase “next time” and start over with a confident, positive approach to your opportunities and your challenges.

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Weight Loss & Your Forward Story

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Part of my personal Forward Story involves my health and my weight. Health is important going forward. If I suffer a breakdown in my physical body, I obviously cannot achieve the other goals I have in mind. It is for this reason that I do not smoke, but what about my weight?

Modern medicine is pretty clear on the issue of obesity. Being overweight or obese is hazardous to your health. Even if you see no current symptoms or effects, carrying too much weight will lead to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and a host of other problems. Therefore, you and I must engage in future-oriented behavior today and every day in order to create a healthier future.

According to the charts, I am overweight. When I tell people that I am overweight many people tell me they don’t believe it. As a former athlete I have a a muscular build at 5’11”. I don’t look “fat” to them. However, the experts tell me I need to drop weight. So, how do I do that? Billions of dollars are spent in that pursuit. There may be no more fertile ground for scams than in the promises that a miracle drug or regimen will make it happen easily.

The simple answer to weight loss, and the one that people don’t really want to hear, is that you must restrict your calorie intake and regularly engage in physical exercise. That requires replacing present pleasure and ease for discipline and denial.

A couple of weeks ago my wife began the WW plan that counts points. I decided to join her on it in hopes of finally getting to the place on the chart where the doctors say I should be. So far I am seeing really good results. I track it on an iPhone app called iWatchr, which allows me to track my points, calculate the points from basic nutritional information, and track my weight. It is a very helpful little app.

The bottom line is that using this app and controlling how much I eat and exercise, I am engaging in daily behavior that is leading to the future I desire with regard to my health. Without these daily behaviors, the future will be just like the past.

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Terminal

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Today my son gave me the crushing news that one of his best friends just learned that his father has been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gherig’s Disease). This news hit me like a ton of bricks. I know his father. I admire his father. I really like his father. He has two kids in college and two younger kids that really rely on their father. This news was different than the news of cancer or other diseases because of the prognosis. Cancer and heart disease carry with them a certain measure of hope. ALS is always fatal, ultimately.

In other words, he has a “terminal illness.” I started thinking about that phrase: TERMINAL ILLNESS. We treat that phrase with so much trepidation because we dread the idea of having an illness that is terminal. Surely we realize, though, that we all have a terminal condition. It is called humanness. None of us are getting out of this thing alive. We are mortal.

In this blog we are focused on the future and on developing a powerful forward story. How do you develop a forward story when ALS is the diagnosis? Let me rephrase the question: How do you develop a forward story when you have a terminal condition?

Don’t forget, we all do.

Some illnesses carry with them a generally accepted range of life expectancy. A person with ALS has a better idea of how much time they may have left. Those of us with the terminal illness of humanness just live like we are not terminal and like we are not dying. I am really not trying to be morbid, but I am trying to be realistic.

The task before all of us is to develop a forward story while knowing we have a terminal condition. We don’t like to look our mortality in the face. We find ways to avoid the topic. One of the responsibilities we all have is to grow up and to embrace adulthood. Living with the understanding that we are mortal and terminal is a requirement of adulthood. Becoming an adult requires honesty. Honesty demands that we face the fact that we will die.

Each six months or so I update my personal Forward Story. Some call this a Life Plan. It is a look at what I plan for my future to include and be. In order to remind myself of my own mortality, I begin each new version of my Forward Story with the following disclaimer:

The purpose of this Forward Story is not to predict the future. I have lived long enough now to understand that the future cannot be predicted. Part of the excitement and challenge of life is responding to unforeseen events. The various time horizons detailed here are not intended to imply that I believe that my life will continue for any specific length. I am aware of the fact that life is “even a mist” and that my life could end at any time. This is a fact of life. I also trust in God’s providence and plan for me. Hopefully my plans are consistent with His will for my life. This story is a snapshot of my vision for the future at this particular point in time. By definition it will change with the seasons of life and the circumstances I encounter. My reason for maintaining a Forward Story is to ensure that I do not simply wander through life aimlessly and look back one day as an old man disappointed in my lack of purpose and contribution to my family and to my world.

As we go along I will further develop some of the ideas expressed in this disclaimer. For now, the main point is that I do not know how long I will live. The fact that I write a Forward Story doesn’t mean that I have any idea how long I will live. It simply means that I plan to live in a purposeful way.

My friend with ALS has a Forward Story. He planned well for his family with life insurance, and he has provided for them in other important ways. He will continue to enjoy his life and his family as he faces his disease and his future. He is also a person of faith who has a Forward Story he is relying on that extends beyond this human reality.

As I write and maintain my personal Forward Story, I will always remember that I am terminal. How about you?

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Reader & Advisor

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The imminent philosopher Loudon Wainwright III wrote:

 

Reader and advisor
will my dreams come true?
Use your magic science
Show me what to do
Should I take some action?
Or should I just lay low?
Reader and advisor
Which way should I go?

Fortune tellers are fascinating. Their claim is so outrageous that it is intriguing. Psychics claim that they can use some tool (crystal ball, tarot cards) or some innate sixth sense to see into your future. From this “reading” of your future they can provide advice. Should you take some action? Should you just “lay low”? Visa and MasterCard accepted.

“Which way should I go?”

The idea of time intrigues me. The Past. The Present. The Future. “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future” (thanks, Steve). If you could really have someone look into a crystal ball and know your future exactly in all its detail, would you like for them to tell you what it reveals? To that hypothetical I say no. I already know I am not getting out of this thing alive, so why know how it ends and then spend the rest of my life dwelling on the gory details? I prefer to dwell on the positive.

The Past is important. We study history in order to understand what has happened with people, places, and things before us. It helps explain how we got here and why the southern border of New Mexico is not straight across even with the western boundary of Texas. It helps us know why calculus was invented. It brings us up to speed on the struggles of women for equality and the reason narrow gauge railroads had tracks that were narrower than 4 feet 8.5 inches.

Narrow Gauge

Our personal Pasts are also important. The way you were raised, nurtured, and educated has an impact on who you are and how you view the world. If your past was difficult or deficient, your ability to function in the present will be impacted. Your Future is at stake. Therapists are trained to help people deal with their pasts and make progress in the Present and Future.

The Present. Right now. We are urged to stop and smell the roses with good reason. In a real sense, the present is all we have. We can engage in present-oriented behaviors and future-oriented behaviors. Sometimes we can be fortunate enough to find actions that are both present- and future-oriented. If we are always doing future-oriented stuff, where’s the fun? All work and no play… If we are always doing present-oriented stuff, where’s the maturity?

The Future, as we have said before in this blog, seems to be the exclusive domain of humans. Some animals exhibit limited instinctual behaviors that  prepare for the future. Squirrels store up nuts and bears fatten up before hibernation. This is quite different from your capacity to form a mental image of some future accomplishment and then set about to make it happen.

Much more effective than any palm reader, you must learn to be your own “reader and advisor.” Your future can be “read” to a certain degree, and your advice can be grounded in reality.

These are the tasks at hand.