Rescuing Rhett

On Monday, April 4, 2022 an era ended for our family. Our beloved corgi Rhett passed away peacefully at home in his sleep in his favorite sleeping spot. That he had such a peaceful passing was a great mercy to us. He removed the trauma that we dreaded.

It is the end of an era because he was the final packmate of the trio that included our other beloved corgis Fiona and Toby. Those two were our originals that we adopted when our children were still young and at home. Rhett joined their already well-established pecking order and found a way to fit right in. For the next many years our house was a flurry of furry activity. It was equally noisy and enchanting.

Rhett’s life began at a breeder operation about an hour from us that was dubious, to be kind. To not be kind, it was a puppy mill. Our daughter was at college and wanted a dog to keep her company. She loved our other corgis, so I began looking for corgis in our area. I found this breeder online. We drove there to meet Rhett for the first time. He had been born in October, so he was only a few weeks old when we met him in November 2009.

We waited in the office while Rhett was brought in to us. He was so tiny and so precious. It was love at first sight. Honestly, how can you not fall in love at first sight with all puppies? I requested to see the mother and father (or dam and sire, if you prefer breeder talk). The woman was very reluctant to let me see them. I insisted. She took me back through a maze of dilapidated buildings to a ramshackle shed where this poor mother dog was living in what appeared to me to be squalid conditions. It made me sad. It also made me angry.

I have titled this article “Rescuing Rhett” because once I saw the conditions in which he was born, I intended to rescue him as soon as possible to give him the life he deserved. I was able to do just that on December 10, 2009. I drove down there with a new crate and brought him back to our house. After Rhett was safely in our lives, I also filed a complaint with the authorities about the abysmal conditions at that facility. I never got closure on that, but in my mind I hope that is reason there is no longer any online presence for that breeder.

Off Rhett went to college with Kellen in January 2010 as a very young pup. It was in Lubbock, Texas that he provided love to a college student far from home. There he learned to chase frisbees, go on walks, and keep watch over the apartment as his Mom was at school. Later our son also joined our daughter at college in Lubbock, and he spent a lot of time with Rhett as well.

Every pet has unique characteristics. Rhett had many. One of his most endearing was that when he was picked up and held, he would put his chin on your shoulder facing backward. To us it seemed like a hug, so we would ask him, “Hugs?” Then he would dutifully allow us to pick him and up and hold him in that embrace. He was especially willing to give hugs to Kellen and Matt.

I have lost some of the exact chronology, but once Kellen finished college she and Rhett moved home and lived in an apartment. Then, through an apartment change that allowed no pets, it made sense for Rhett to come live with us and join the existing pack of two with Toby and Fiona. After a short adjustment time, the three of them had the pecking order worked out. Fiona was the Alpha and in charge, but she allowed Rhett to wrestle with her and chew on her a little. There was a limit to that, however, and she would let him know when he had crossed the line.

At various points both Kellen and Matt lived with us and our pack for short times while they were getting started in their careers, so all of us got to enjoy the corgi pack. We have special memories of all three dogs interacting together. Corgis are such entertaining little beings.

In August 2015 Fiona was the first of our pack to cross the Rainbow Bridge. Toby and Rhett became closer and inseparable.

One story from that timeframe. In July 2016 some friends visited us from out of state and stayed at our house. One of the children in that family left her bedroom door open with a suitcase on the floor. Toby, who was always food-crazy, found a package of sugar-free gum. He recruited Rhett to help him devour the package. When we discovered this situation, we realized that the gum was sweetened with Xylitol – very toxic to dogs. Given that it was a weekend, we had to take them both to the emergency veterinarian. When all was said and done, the final tally was $3,646. That was a very expensive pack of gum! From that point forward our vet clinic referred to Toby and Rhett as “The Xylitol Twins.”

We lost Toby in April 2018. He had been our first corgi. As with Fiona, it was very painful to let him go. Our house was much quieter with only little Rhett left. He was never a loud dog, except for four triggers which would set him off. We are certain that he learned his hatred of all three from Fiona. If you wanted Rhett to bark and make a racket, just put a new trash bag in the garbage bin, run a vacuum cleaner across the floor, set up the ironing board, or fire up the hair dryer. I am sure Fiona was proud of her understudy as he faithfully maintained her legacy.

In April 2019 Rhett was diagnosed with Progressive Retinal Atrophy (PRA), a genetic condition allowed to occur because of the unethical breeder, who did not do needed testing before breeding the sire and dam. Our veterinary ophthalmologist explained that every puppy born to that mother and father will have developed PRA. It leads to blindness, and there is no cure.

So, the last few years of his life Rhett was in near-total blindness. It was amazing to see him use his senses of smell, hearing, and touch to compensate for his loss of vision. We had a dog door onto the back patio and into the back yard. Even with his deteriorating sight, he would easily go out and spend hours on the patio enjoying the great outdoors. He had every square inch of that house mapped.

Then in July 2021, we moved into a new house. The back yard is steep enough to require stairs. Stairs are one obstacle Rhett could not master. It was too dangerous. So there was no dog door for him at the new place. Even so, after a couple of challenging weeks, he adjusted beautifully to the new house. The covered back patio was a place he really enjoyed hanging out. We installed a gate so he could not wander onto the stairs. He really enjoyed spending time on that patio and feeling the breeze. He loved being with us and was our constant companion. He was an important part of our human pack.

A couple of additional observations about Rhett. He hated riding in the car. By the time we got him to the vet, he was incredibly stressed and shaking. Like I said, dogs all have their own little idiosyncrasies. Also, when our young grandson would visit us and eat in his high chair, much of what was intended for his mouth ended up on the floor. This was fine with Rhett, who hung out underneath and kept the area clean.

As I already mentioned, even though Rhett was a quiet dog, he was not silent. Our house is now much quieter. There is no more clicking of nails on the floor. There is no more shaking of his collar tag. There is no more sprinting for doors that are opened. Of course, we think of him anytime we vacuum, dry hair, or put in a new trash bag. It is quiet. There is also no longer a faithful companion waiting by the front door or the garage entry door for our return. 

I must thank my Dad for helping take care of Rhett each time we were out of town. My Dad is a definite “dog person.” He had a special place in his heart for Rhett. I know he misses him, too. I also want to thank him for being there for me as we laid Rhett to rest under his and Mom’s Memorial Oak. It is a perfect place where Rhett joins their beloved dog Prissy and Charley the cat, as well as my sister’s cats Buddy and Sasha. Margot and I are grateful.

As with Fiona and Toby, I once again want to thank Dr. Todd Rabon at VCA Premiere Animal Hospital for his compassionate care for Rhett.

At the end of this era, what did Rhett mean to us? He brightened our lives with companionship and happiness. He was important not only to Margot and me, but also to Kellen and Matt. As with Fiona, Toby, and all of the special cats we have had, we stand in admiration – no, we stand in awe – of God’s creative work.

I miss you, Rhett. I love you, buddy. Thank you for sharing our lives with us.

One Day You Will Be a Face on a Wall

Recently a friend from church told me that he had arrived at a great insight. He realized that one day he will just be a face on a wall of his descendants.

We all have faces on our walls or in our photo albums of people that we knew and loved that are no longer with us. Perhaps your children know who they are, but do your grandchildren? Will your great-grandchildren and beyond?

It is surely true of us that we will also one day be a face on a wall. This prompted my friend to write a document (you can call it a book if you like) where he reflected on his life. He wrote his memories about his grandparents, parents, and his own life experiences. In his words, “It is no masterpiece.” I beg to differ. I think to his descendants who will one day tie his words to his face on the wall it will indeed be a masterpiece.

What about you? First of all, what kind of story are you writing and living that embraces the reality of your own mortality? That is what Forward Story is really all about. Then, what can you do to ensure that those who follow in your footsteps know something about you and the kind of life you lived? What can you do to give them more than just your face in a frame on a wall?

Thanks to Forest for sharing this perspective.

Life Happened for Sean Adams

Photo courtesy of AM 1300 THE ZONE‏ @am1300thezone

Austin media personality Sean Adams passed away yesterday at the age of 46. That could be one of those impersonal headlines that you see and think nothing of. For many people in the Austin area it is very personal. It is for me.

I recently wrote about change. Yesterday things changed for a lot of us.

Sean and I were not close friends, but we knew each other and liked each other. I went to church with him for many years and always admired him. There were many exceptional things about him. He was a great son, husband, father, and friend. He took all of those roles and responsibilities seriously. He was a man of faith, and he had a remarkable breadth and depth about him. He had talent coupled with a terrific work ethic. He and Chip Brown in the mornings were a special team discussing sports. There was true chemistry there, and it was great to listen to. It was a morning staple for many of us. It was about more than just sports – it was sports generously seasoned with wit and wisdom.

I had lunch with Sean a couple of times at his favorite restaurant, Cover 3. We talked about our families, business, and he encouraged me when I was writing my book. He was also an encouragement to our children. When I got the stunning news yesterday about his passing, I looked at my text message history with him. There is nothing profound there, but I will always treasure it.

My heart goes out to Karen, Damon, Alex, and Sean’s mother and siblings. I also grieve for Chip Brown, Mike Hardge, Mike Weigand, Anthony Williams, Thomas Graham, Geoff Ketchum, and all of the other many people who shared a close bond with Sean. He had a lot of true and genuine friends all across the country. You cannot say that about many people.

My lasting memories of Sean will be his faith and his heart for elevating others to higher planes. He was famous for the wisdom in his many sayings. They will stick with me.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • “The dream is free, the hustle is sold separately. Go to work.”
  • “Do something good for the world today, because the people who are making it worse aren’t taking the day off.”
  • “Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.”

Photo courtesy of Enrique Garza‏ @goodstuffcvms

He and I also shared a perspective on the value of sports. He spoke often of the huddle. The huddle is sacred, he would say. It is the one place where northerner and southerner, rich and poor, black and white, conservative and liberal, come together, put their arms around each other, and bond for a common goal. They sweat and bleed together, and special things happen.

Sean often said: “Life happens for those who show up.”

Sean showed up.

Life happened for him.

Thanks for showing up for all of us, brother. Rest in Peace.

Emily Brontë Died at Thirty

How Old Are You?

Charlotte Bronte coloured drawing
My wife and I recently watched the movie To Walk Invisible about the Brontë sisters. These amazing sisters created some of the most enduring works of English literature.

The eldest sister Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre (Penguin Classics). The youngest sister Anne wrote Agnes Grey (Penguin Classics). The middle sister Emily wrote Wuthering Heights (Penguin Classics).

Their decision to write and publish under male pseudonyms is an amazing story of strategy and perseverance. Charlotte was “Currer Bell,” Anne was “Acton Bell,” and Emily was “Ellis Bell.”

As with all writers in their day, their work was conducted often by candlelight and always by hand with ink and quill on paper. I am writing this post in an online editor with cut and paste, auto-spell check, and the ability to publish to the world with one click of the “publish” button. It is hard to even envision the painstaking effort they expended to bring these works to readers.

There are many aspects to their story that I find amazing, but perhaps the thing that strikes me most is the fact that Emily Brontë lived only 30 years. In fact, her youngest sister Anne lived only 29 years. Charlotte lived only to the age of 38.

I do not measure myself against women who were among the most gifted writers in the English language, but I do draw two lessons from their lives:

  1. Youth should be no barrier. If anyone told them they were too young, the Brontës did not listen. Some of us seem to be waiting until some magic future date when we are of sufficient age to do something important. Go ahead and do it now. Will you get better at it as you get older? Probably. Maybe. Maybe not. In the case of the Brontës, there was no getting older. Life is uncertain and short. That leads to the second lesson…
  2. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and get started doing something you really want to do and need to do. Don’t wait for later and older. Do it now. Get it started. Do not let resistance paralyze you. If you plan to do creative work (writing, music, art, entrepreneurship), get a copy of The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles and let it motivate you. The main thing is to act. Now.

I have to confess that while we have had copies of both Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights in our library for years, I have read neither. I am going to correct that soon. I think that as I read them knowing just how young these authors were when they wrote them, it will really reinforce the two lessons above.

Hopefully it will motivate me to act.

How old are you at present? If older than 30, take encouragement from what these young women did at a younger age than you. If you are younger than 30, follow the Bronte’s lead. Make it happen.

What Will You Never Regret?

file2011258323768

I appreciate the fact that you are reading this blog. I desire not only to share what I have learned about life and the future, but to learn from you as well. At this time I could really use your help. I am working on a chapter in my book on regret.

Most of us have regrets over things we have done in the past or over opportunities we have missed. Sometimes this regret can be very serious and require professional help. Other times it just nags at us and ties us to the past.

Here is what I would like to know from you. Envision yourself at the end of your life. You are about to complete this journey. You look back across the years and think about all that you have done, seen, and experienced.

What are the things that at the end of your life you will never regret having done?

Please “Leave a Reply” below to share your thoughts. If you prefer, you can also leave your thoughts on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/ForwardStory

Doomsday Is Here?

www.stockfreeimages.com

As I write this post, we are two days from the Winter Solstice 2012, which is on Friday, December 21, 2012. This is the day each year when we in the northern hemisphere have the shortest daylight and longest darkness. For many years now I have had this particular Winter Solstice in my calendar under the heading:

End of The World (Mayan Doomsday Prophecy)

You are either reading this before or after 12/21/12. If before, you may laugh off the prophecy or you may be really expecting the world to end. If after, you will know that either the prophecy was false or the interpreters of the prophecy were mistaken. This idea of the end of the world intrigues me with regard to writing and living my Forward Story. The fact is that on Friday life will end for many people on earth. Even if it doesn’t end for all of us, many will meet their own end as a result of natural causes or the risks of life as mortal beings.

Any Forward Story that does not take into account the fact that life here is not forever will be lacking. It will not lead to true happiness because it is not based on the truth. My encouragement to us all is to live each day understanding how precious and short life is and to be sure our plans and activities properly value those people and causes that we truly care about. These need to all be included in our plans and stories.

See you in 2013.

Unless I don’t.